Shaping Identities: How Standards Define Men And Women (Part One)

Ah, the age-old debate of love versus lust. It's like the ultimate game of "He said, she said," only with higher stakes. While social constructs may play a role in how they’re viewed, evolutionary psychologists have a theory that says otherwise. There seems to be more history behind our mating strategies.

Darwin’s finch theory seems to sum it all up. As they explored the Galapagos islands, Darwin noticed that the finches had different beaks depending on which island they were on. Finches on islands that were populated with seeds and nuts had massive, strong beaks, while finches on islands that were populated by insects had skinny, sharp beaks. This observation by Darwin helped solidify the idea that each species acquired traits optimum for their survival.

Now, evolutionary psychologists have a theory that’s just as intriguing: our behaviors might be programmed by the ancient need to propagate our species. Think of it as nature’s ultimate matchmaking service. For women, this often means a bit more coyness, like keeping your options open and making sure Mr. Right has more to offer than just a charming smile. For men, it might mean a more straightforward approach, with the idea that quantity over quality will do the trick.

In a study by Clark and Hatfield (1989), women were told to imagine someone of the opposite sex walking up to them on the street and saying, “Hi, I’ve been noticing you around lately. I find you very attractive,” and then being asked one of three questions:


  1. Would you go out on a date with me?

  2. Would you come back to my apartment with me?

  3. Would you have sex with me?


Ladies, brace yourselves: when approached, 56% agreed to a date, 6% to going back to the apartment, and 0% to the full intimate package. Men, on the other hand, were considerably more adventurous: about 50% agreed to a date, 69% to an apartment visit, and a whopping 75% to the sex proposition.


Is there really a biological element to this behavior? Or is it just that men and women have wildly different ideas about what makes a good first impression? Either way, it’s clear that our evolutionary past still has a big influence on our present-day dating dynamics. In the end, whether you’re a finch or a human, survival and propagation have their own set of rules.

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